Commonalities: Single Men verses Single Women
In this politically correct day of cyberspace, non-gender clothing, hairstyles, jewelry and behavior, one is not always sure of boundaries. Where do we draw the lines? What is my role in a relationship? Are the roles clear for all to comprehend? Are there roles? These and other questions plague men and women alike when a relationship is sought.
In the fifties, sixties, and even the early seventies the roles were clearly outlined for all to see, as they were established by our society's standards. The men were expected to provide security. Even when a courtship was in the initial stages the male was expected to open doors, pay for all expenses on a date or outing, protect and provide for, without complaint, the needs of the female partner on a date. The female was expected to understand and respect the man's role, assisting when needed, but never aspiring to acquire power, leadership, equality, or authority. These roles were clearly delineated, from courtship, throughout marriage, till death us do apart.
When the mid seventies and the women's liberation movement had come into being, these traditional roles came into question somewhat radically. Following a sharp rise in the number of single mothers, and divorce becoming more commonplace, in many cases; the principal provider for the home changed. A significant outcome of this was an increased outcry for higher wages, non-traditional employment opportunities, and legal accountability for women who were now heads of households. As door after door of opportunity were snatched open by the leaders of the movement, the Women's Liberation Group, the traditional male/female roles in our society became less and less clear. Today, thirty plus years later, we sometimes find ourselves unsure who does what in a relationship.
As Christians we find we have a guide to follow in the Holy bible; the Word written, that we can address in times of confusion and distress. God clearly addresses His desires on the subject in Ephesians 5: 22-33
"Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ also is the head of the church, being himself the savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it; that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. Even so ought husbands also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his own wife loveth himself: for no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as Christ also the church; because we are members of his body.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great: but I speak in regard of Christ and of the church. Nevertheless do ye also severally love each one his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she fear her husband."
With these scriptures in mind, single men and women must prepare themselves to shed the hurts, sorrows, and disillusionments that make it difficult to trust the opposite sex. We must search our hearts for our first true love, which is Jesus Christ. Once we ground ourselves in Him, allowing Him to guide and foster us, then His love will overshadow all of our doubts, fears and uncertainties. We must first learn to submit ourselves to Him, totally and unashamedly. Then the mate needed for our particular personality will be presented to us. All of our questions regarding the roles we find ourselves in will be revealed if we head our relationships in Him.
My brothers have not always had positive role male models to demonstrate headship, and accountability for decisions regarding provisions of a household. My sisters have not always had proper coverings in previous experiences, and find it difficult to submit (yes, I said submit) the ultimate decision making to the wisdom of someone else. However we must trust first and foremost in the connection we have with Jesus, studying and perfecting it, and He will guide us in this important step of our continuing life. He knows our requirements, perks, and character peculiarities that make us the individuals we are. After all, he is the author and founder of us, and promises to provide all of our needs if we meet requirements set aside in His Word. We know if we honor Him, we will honor each other. It is not so much the role one must be concerned with, but the total submission of men and women alike to Jesus and His will in our lives. He will take care of the rest.
